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Every Once in Awhile, Someone Gets it = Right

It seems as though a day doesn't got by that I don't get at least one = email=20 like this in my inbox.

Hi!

I love your blog Motherhood Uncensored~~, or I think that's = what it's=20 called~~ and I think that your readers would really like to = know about=20 a fantastic contest for this ~~Ridiculously Stupid and Totally=20 Uninteresting Movie or Product~~ cool thing. I = don't have=20 anything to offer you -- you know free stuff, money, or actually any = incentive=20 whatsoever to post this on your blog, that I have never, in fact, = actually read.=20 I'm just spamming bloggers today and you happened to be on my = list. If you=20 have any questions, feel free to email me. I have included a = ~~ridiculously=20 longass~~ press release below for your perusal.

Sincerely,

Joe PR Person ~~From Hell~~

Now look. Don't be all "Oh I wish I got emails like that." Because, = guess=20 what. No you don't. I promise. It's not flattering. It's actually = bothersome=20 because not only are they wasting their own time, but they think we're = so silly=20 that we would just post an announcement about something on our blog = about=20 something totally unrelated to anything we EVER write about.

And not even one free thing offer.

So really, what's the incentive? Do my readers really want to know = about=20 "Meet the Robinson's?" And if I tell them to go (even though I've never = seen it=20 because you didn't even offer me free tickets to go), do you really = think my=20 readers are going to run to the theater crying, "Motherhood uncensored = told us=20 to come. So it must be good."

Right.

I'm not a free shit whore, but let's get real. Most of the time with = these=20 emails, there's not one bit of free shit to be had. I mean at leaset = make it=20 tempting. Throw in some KY Jelly or something.

But then there are the smart ones. Those are the ones that read your = blog and=20 email you about stuff that you've actually written about. And then = they get=20 rewarded.

Learn from your peers, my PR people.

And so, recently I complained about the utter uselessness of the bulb=20 aspirator. And wouldn't you know, a few days later, I had a lovely = email=20 from the folks at Nose Frida. A few commenters had actually recommended = it so I=20 was anxious to try it. And so the nice man sent me some. A lot of them, = to be=20 exact.

And so, the snot sucking addict that I am, I tried it without = hesitation. And=20 let me just say, I am Nose Frida's new bitch. It rocks. Seriously, if it = was a=20 man, I'd marry him. Yes you = still=20 need saline drops but all you do is stick it up to your kid's nose = and suck=20 out the boogers through a tube (Don't worry. They don't get anywhere = near your=20 mouth people). The harder you suck, the more snot you get. As you might=20 remember, I'm=20 an experienced sucker (heh), so I did well.

No squeezing the bulb, trying to line it up with your kid's tiny = nostril, and=20 no 4-hour cleaning sessions.

And so I'm happy to tell everyone about Nose=20 Frida. In fact, I'm on the prowl for kids with runny noses. I have a = bona=20 fide Nose Frida addiction. I'd even wear a shirt if they'd send me one. = And I'd=20 happily spend $1000 of their money if they sent it to me too (hey, can't = hurt=20 right?).

So, kudos to you, smart PR man. You read my blog, you felt my pain, = and you=20 filled the void. May others with much money, power, and shoes = (preferably size=20 10 open toe sandals) do the same.

If you'd like a Nose Frida, I've got three to give away. Leave me = a=20 comment about why you need one and I'll pick three winners at = random.

***

My thanks to Self Made = Mom and Rookie = Mom for=20 honoring me with the Thinking=20 Blogger Award. I wasn't being an ass by not recognizing it. I am = honestly=20 just not thinking well these days (no pun, really). Here were my=20 picks. And the always thoughtful (I swear, no pun) Mrs. Chicken, = nominated me=20 for the Blogger's=20 Choice Award. I fear Meryl Streep (aka Mir) is kicking all of our = asses, but=20 it's well deserved.

***

Please visit my sponsors: Baby = Dagny=20 and Mama Needs It -- two great = mom-owned=20 bizzes that deserve your love!

April 15, 2007 in Ooh=20 Baby Baby, Thoughts=20 About Blogging | Permalink=20

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Comments

bwahahaha i had a whole post in the works about this very topic. Im = tired of=20 companies expecting me to be a corporate whore for free. Wanna be on my = blog?=20 Pay me, send me free stuff, finesse me damn it!

Sure I review products for free sometimes, that's because I found out = how=20 kick ass they were on my own - though i wont turn down products or money = should=20 those companies stumble across me

and snot sucking

i'm going to probe into that.. My littlest an seems to have some = snotty=20 allergy issues

Posted by: fidget | April=20 16, 2007 at 05:01 PM

You, me and the trannies Bossy.

Posted by: Kristen | April=20 16, 2007 at 04:56 PM

Are you really a Size 10 shoe? So is Bossy and as far as she knew it = was just=20 her and the Transvestites!

Posted by: BOSSY | April=20 16, 2007 at 02:42 PM

I already bought one in anticipation to use on our baby girl who will = be here=20 in 9 weeks! Glad to hear of your approval - I guess I "picked" a good=20 one!

Posted by: Julie | April=20 16, 2007 at 09:16 AM

This is awesome! I work with someone from France and he was telling = us about=20 this exact thing, but couldn't remember what it was called and I had no = idea=20 what to even type in to search for it. Thanks!

Posted by: Susan | April=20 16, 2007 at 07:44 AM

Oy... The spammy e-mails.

The snot sucker sounds interesting... Will have to tell my pregnant = cousin=20 about this...

Posted by: motherofbun | April=20 16, 2007 at 06:40 AM

Count me in for the snot sucker. I long ago gave up on them. My 8 = month old=20 has had the grossest plugged up nose for week now. The only way I can = get it=20 unplugged is letting him splash around in the tub till the crust softens = up=20 enough so he can sneeze it out.

Posted by: Kind of Crunchy Mama | April=20 16, 2007 at 06:19 AM

These things rock!! I got one after reading about it on Parent Hacks = and it=20 truly does suck (in a good way).

Posted by: Awesome Mom | April=20 16, 2007 at 01:53 AM

Ahahahahaha Meet The Robinsons! Those fuckers have me on speed-dial, = too.=20 Oy.

Posted by: GIRL'S GONE CHILD | April=20 15, 2007 at 09:16 PM

Oh dear Lord, I sooo need this thing!! I haven't slept at night since = my son=20 was born 7 weeks ago because he get "snorty" at night. I've been = convinced its a=20 conpiracy against me, but if I can actually get him to stop snorting = & get=20 some sleep when he does I'd be somewhat sane again!

Posted by: Kimba | April=20 15, 2007 at 08:16 PM

Ummmm....no thanks. That looks disgusting. I think trying to suck the = boogies=20 out with my mouth would make me ralph. I know that there is probably no = way they=20 could get to my mouth but it just looks freaky. I think my kids can keep = their=20 boogies in there. Ewww

Posted by: Kendra | April=20 15, 2007 at 08:02 PM

oh jeeze - sign me up for the random drawing - i live in the south, = with a 2=20 month old, who breastfeeds. pollen count: 5000+ on a regular basis ... = need i=20 say more?
(over 120 is considered extremely high)

i'm begging. please.
oh. and i love your blog. :)

Posted by: xcat | April=20 15, 2007 at 07:53 PM

SMM ~

I love PR folks -- just the smart ones, like you.

Posted by: K=20 | April=20 15, 2007 at 07:21 PM

Ooh, I want to try a Nose Frida! Or I will next time I've got a = snotty kid,=20 anyhow. Which is guaranteed to be fairly soon, since I've got a 13 month = old and=20 another on the way (well, and two older ones, but they're familiar with=20 tissue).

Posted by: Melissa | April=20 15, 2007 at 07:13 PM

I'm gonna take your word for it that I'm going to love the sucking of = the=20 snot once my kid is born.

Cause right now the thought makes me vurp.

Posted by: BFF | April=20 15, 2007 at 07:08 PM

Send the nose thing to someone other than me; my kids are too old for = it.

I just wanted to let you know I voted for you at Blogger's Choice, = although I=20 seem to be the minority of your readers. What's up with THAT?

West of Mars is up for a bunch, too. Kinda cool.

Posted by: Susan Helene Gottfried | April=20 15, 2007 at 07:05 PM

I don't need a snot-sucker, but hey PR people - I am a FREE STUFF = whore! Feel=20 free to visit me. Make an offer.

http://www.fenicle.com/

Posted by: FENICLE | April=20 15, 2007 at 06:43 PM

I also get several of those e-mails, and they end up in my Trash = folder=20 pretty quickly. I'm happy to give things a try and give my opinion, if = it's=20 relevant to me and free.

So I wonder, if I complain enough about my lack of babysitting, would = Sitter=20 City give me a free trial? :)

Posted by: Christina | April=20 15, 2007 at 06:03 PM

I would love a Nose Frida too. My 3 year old often gets asthma = flare-ups when=20 she gets colds. My 9 month old can't sleep as well at night because of = her=20 stuffed nose. I have bought every aspirator I could get my hands on- = Nuby,=20 Parents, the ones from the hospital, Safety First, but I've never = successfully=20 suctioned off my children's snots. I was considering getting an = electronic=20 aspirator but now that I read about this on your blog, this seems a lot = more=20 cost-effective and actually effective!

Posted by: Leah | April=20 15, 2007 at 05:11 PM

Thanks for the shout out and oh, I guess I'll keep reading your blog = even=20 though you slammed my profession :-) The Nose Frida does sound awesome=20 though!

Posted by: Selfmademom | April=20 15, 2007 at 04:37 PM

My two year old vomits about twice a week during the night on average = (some=20 weeks none, some weeks more, ect)...it is worse when she is congested. I = might=20 be able to give one of those NoseFrida a nice new home.

Posted by: Kyla | April=20 15, 2007 at 04:00 PM

Nate is suggesting that I start posting about our horrible, painful = lack of a=20 Playstation 3 and all the problems it has caused.

Think it will work?

Posted by: Mom101 | April=20 15, 2007 at 03:05 PM

I have a phobia about anything nose-related. I can't even type sn*t = without=20 getting sick. However, I must have a Nose Frida. I don't want my = daughter to=20 suffer from being congested any longer simply because I can't deal with = it.=20 Please oh please pick me! P.S. love your blog

Posted by: Missy | April=20 15, 2007 at 02:43 PM

Ok, I'm in! So I read your post and I've all but given up on sucking = anything=20 out of my daughter's ever-snotty nose. (She's my second, therefore had a = never=20 ending cold from August until present.)

This Nose Frida thing looks pretty disgusting, yet genius at the same = time.=20 Using the mouth-suck potentially gives me a free hand to wrestle my = little one=20 with.

Although I got nauseas when looking at the picture of the doctor = actually=20 using this device, I'm oddly intrigued! =E2=98=BA -Smiling = Mom

Posted by: Smiling Mom | April=20 15, 2007 at 02:00 PM

I'd love a Nose Frida, because I think I could become addicted to it = as well.=20 I am constantly on the booger-prowl with my 7 month-old son, and have = kept my=20 pinky fingernail longer than all of my others so that I may pick his = nose more=20 easily.

Please!

Posted by: liz | April=20 15, 2007 at 12:58 PM

Well, I find it hard to believe all the pictures of smiling children = on the=20 nosefrida website while they're getting boogers sucked out... That said, = I have=20 to get one for my son, who I can guarantee hates the bulb syringe much = more than=20 any of the other commenters' kids. *laugh*

Oh yeah, great blog by the way!

Posted by: Bill | April=20 15, 2007 at 12:15 PM

oooh, I've seen those and always wondered how well they worked. You = may have=20 just sold me on it. Now I have to figure out where to get one.

Thanks!

Posted by: Andy | April=20 15, 2007 at 11:16 AM

Enter me in for the Nose Frida! I have a 10 month old who has had a = runny=20 nose since January and is showing no signs of stopping. He hates with a = passion=20 the bulb and when he sees me grab a tissue, he immediately plasters his = snotty=20 face all over my shirt. Plus I have #2 due in August. I assume there = will be=20 lots of snot by the end of the year. I hope I win for the sake of my=20 wardrobe!

Posted by: Dooneybug | April=20 15, 2007 at 10:44 AM

I'd love one! Finally, an end to interrupted sleep (as we scramble = every hour=20 for the paci that doesn't soothe because it clogs up the only remaining=20 breathing passages) and the fights that end up in semi-bloody noses=20 (whoops)!

Posted by: V | April=20 15, 2007 at 10:22 AM

Oohh - I'll play! I have a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and one due in=20 September. There is snot to be sucked at this Tater Patch!

Posted by: Tater and Tot | April=20 15, 2007 at 09:44 AM

Here in the UK I have never seen a bulb aspirator, only the snot = sucking=20 apparatus. As an American I had only seen the bulb aspirators before, so = I was=20 very wary of the sucking one. I envisioned lumps of baby snot getting = stuck in=20 my throat, but thank god it's not like that.

Hurray for the suckers!

Posted by: MsPrufrock | April=20 15, 2007 at 08:51 AM

Here in the UK I have never seen a bulb aspirator, only the snot = sucking=20 apparatus. As an American I had only seen the bulb aspirators before, so = I was=20 very waring of the sucking one. I envisioned lumps of baby snot getting = stuck in=20 my throat, but thank god it's not like that.

Hurray for the suckers!

Posted by: MsPrufrock | April=20 15, 2007 at 08:51 AM

I have one so I'm not entering (I reviewed it here: http://www.theopinionatedparent.com/?p=3D32) I just = wanted to,=20 um, agree with you. It totally rocks.

Posted by: Much More Than A Mom | April=20 15, 2007 at 08:51 AM

2 kids in this household in need of some snot sucking. 2 yearold = still=20 doesn't know how to blow nose and it is like alligator wrestling when = that bulb=20 come out!

Posted by: Toni | April=20 15, 2007 at 08:50 AM

5 month old. Breastfeeder. Stuffy from germs brought home by bad big=20 siblings. He cries when he sees the bulb syringe. In the process of one = of the=20 daily wrestling, screaming, crying, non-sucking sessions he even got a = small=20 bloody nose. Nose sucky thingy would be a good thing. Please.

Posted by: FishyGirl |=20 April=20 15, 2007 at 08:45 AM

I don't need another snot sucker (what we call them in our house), = but HEAR=20 HEAR to the fabulousness of APCO. Every once in a while, we find a PR = flack who=20 understands the concept of win-win and (gasp!) has a little respect for=20 bloggers.

(And yes, we've got some other great PR firms collaborating with us = at Parent=20 Bloggers. The ones who suck - well, we just ban their IPs.)

Posted by: mothergoosemouse | April=20 15, 2007 at 08:36 AM

My little snotbucket could use one, seeing as how we are stuck in an = eternal=20 snotty season (read:winter).

Posted by: Diatribal | April=20 15, 2007 at 08:06 AM

Ooh, free stuff? My kid is drooling snot all over the place lately, = and I'm=20 about to have another snot maker, due next month. That thing is kinda = scary=20 looking though. I'd like to give it a shot though, send one my = way!

Posted by: Mike | April=20 15, 2007 at 07:43 AM

I'd love a Nose Frida. My little girl gets stuffy noses and no matter = how=20 much I try to use the bulb thing, I can hear it sucking, it's just not = strong=20 enough to actually pull the snot out of her head.

Posted by: divrchk | April=20 15, 2007 at 07:28 AM

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